That Dirt Tastes Funny

It's no secret that infants and toddlers put everything in their mouths. We've heard this and we've learned it through first-hand experience. What we didn't know, however, is that 'everything' literally means everything.
I mean, there are varying degrees of meaning attached to the word 'everything'. We thought 'everything' meant toys and other small objects, cutlery, writing utensils, fabrics, linens, and papers. What we did not consider to be part of the 'everything' catch-all word were things such as dirty diapers, objects that exceed the mass of the baby, and dirt. We have discovered that these items can and should be grouped in the 'everything' category. Rai, yes you have attempted to chew on your own dirty diapers. Yes, you have drawn yourself towards objects that exceed you in both size and weight and attempted to gnaw on them. And, more recently, we've seen you grab handfuls of dirt at the playground and sand at the beach and sample that, as well.
Your chewing of 'everything' is so bad that Grandma has canceled all trips to the playground for the foreseeable future for fear that you'll choke on another favorite appetizer of yours: bark.